The Academy Award for Church Drama

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      Why do golf commentators whisper? While Ernie Els is putting a 16-foot putt, the commentators will commentate in small, whispery, and airy voices, something like this: “The putt is a sharply downhill putt on this very fast green…the putt will break first to the left and then to the right. There is only one way to make this putt and anything other than a tap will land the ball in the lake. Ernie has been pushing his putts and a push will place the ball too far to the right and a miss is trouble. He has lined up wonderfullyyyyy aaaaannnnnddddd he has tapped the ball….perfectly…..as it trickles……doooowwwwnnn the greeeeen. And there it is…a perfect stoke with the sure reward of a par for his fine effort.” Soft, controlled golf-applause, sounding like a new rain on a corn patch, is heard in the background.
      You know, of course, that these commentators are hundreds of yards away from the greens where the putts are being made. They are watching the proceedings on the television monitors just like the viewers at home. The whispering, show-talking commentator could cough, yell, drive 20-penny nails, blow leaves, bark like a dog, scream like a small child, or bellow like a mule, and it would make no difference to the putter. But, the commentators choose to act as though they are standing right beside Ernie Els as he is making his putt. I find this behavior a bit melodramatic. Somehow, the drama of the putt is not enough, and the network believes extra drama must be added, thereby creating falsely elevated angst in the heart of the viewer.
      I have always loved soccer and even recorded the morning games of the World Cup, until the US Team was eliminated. Now, I pick up a review of the games from ESPN, and that suffices to give me the information I need. However, I have been surprised at the new element of drama that has been added to the game where even a casual touch, push, foot-contact, or ghost-grapple results in two players rolling on the ground, tail over tin cup, holding their heads, knees, feet, or elbows as if they had just made contact with Lizzy Borden. This commotion causes me to stand up from my chair to look closely at the slow motion close-ups of the fracas, only to find slight, (if any), real contact. The situation is all empty drama. Most of the time, the injured players are looking through little slits in their fingers as they try to outdo the rolling and dramatic outburst of the other player. Then, a minute later, after the red or yellow cards have been awarded, the injured player is back up and running with even more determination and energy than before the incident.
      This sort of action is only drama. Actually, I would be more correct if I called this melodrama. Melodrama is drama that is heaped up, exaggerated, false, and artificially sweetened to add emphasis to otherwise dramatic situations.
      I have seriously considered writing to “The Academy,” proposing that they add a new category of award this year, at the Academy Awards, entitled “The Best Melodramatic Performance of a False Soccer Injury.” From what I have observed, The Academy will have lots of footage to observe and a difficult time in making a final and definitive decision.
      I have pretty much grown tired of drama. I particularly despise melodrama. Even though “melodrama” was an accepted and approved form of drama in the 18th and 19th centuries, (usually enacted in bars or on candlelit stages), the over-dramatization of stock characters such as a hero, a villain, a damsel in distress, an aged parent, a comic man, or a theme of love and murder where the clever hero is duped by a scheming villain until fate intervenes and good finally triumphs over evil, lost interest at the beginning of the “talkies,” (movies with sound).
      Today, melodrama is enacted in the lives of over dramatic individuals who do a lot of hand-wringing, moaning, groaning, and acting-out in society. Melodrama is hardly ever accepted and approved in our modern culture.
      Melodrama is also hardly ever acceptable in the Church of Jesus Christ. There is no Academy Award for “Drama as a Disciple,” even though there would be plenty of material from which to choose. Drama and the particularly acute category of “melodrama” are false tools of usury inflicted and manipulated by members of the community of faith who wish to gain their own way by the use of pity, sensationalism, implication of evil victimizers from other well meaning disciples, and self-serving and intricate plots that leave everyone shaking their heads.
      I place church drama in the same category as church legislation. Both use ploy and technique to gain power without the much preferred gift of the Holy Spirit of “reconciliation.” Reconciliation is a word and concept that is seldom understood or appreciated by the melodramatic of the faith. Reconciliation takes too much Christian energy and too much sacred listening and too much consensual healing to hold any appeal for self-serving disciples who have to have their on way.
      When melodrama occurs in a soccer match, the game comes to a halt. Everyone puts their hands on their hips, and they meander around listlessly, wondering what to do. Eventually, someone in authority comes up and makes a definitive decision, with the outcome being that half the players disagree and with the stage being set for more confrontation down the road. Drama in sports causes the game to come to a complete stop.
      Drama in the church has the same effect and can suck the energy out of a spiritual movement, out of a vital ministry, and out of a dream of a mission. Drama in the church can cause paralysis, division, disease, and long-term listless behavior. Satan loves drama in the church. If in fact Drama is one of Satan’s best tools. “Melodrama” is the perfect form of drama. Churches operating by drama are very interesting and fun to watch, what with all the hand-wringing, chest-clutching, and conniption fits. However, these churches are hard to endure by Christians centered on the Savior.
      The only history book of the New Testament is not called “The Drama of the Apostles.” The book is called “The Acts of the Apostles,” and the actions of the Apostles were never self-serving, divisive, or motivated by the need for getting their own way. Disciples learn to live by the Good News of Jesus Christ only.
      “Drama in the Church” is not a category esteemed and rewarded by The Academy, (nor by The Church).

Rev. Dan Martin is pastor of First UMC, Hendersonville. He can be reached at moose1953@hotmail.com